Or my shirt. My downward spiral into accidental nudism began a little more than a year ago. It all started innocently enough. I was cleaning the bathroom and opened a window protected by my security system, thus accidentally setting off the alarm.

I had a friend in town from Minneapolis the other day, and she asked me a very weird question. She said, "Hey Jimmy, is there a nude beach here in the great state of Iowa? I told her I had no idea, but I would try and find out. Cue the awkwardness. Like all of us, I went straight to Google to find the answer to her question. As far as it looks, there isn't a nude beach here in the great Hawkeye State.

DO NOT make movements with your tongue. Keep it relaxed, wide and flat. INSTEAD, your head will be doing all the movement. As your head moves upward, your tongue will follow.

The best way to use your clitoral vibrator though, is to find a setting somewhere in the middle. At this intensity, it will truly feel like heaven. With the perfect (moderate) intensity, you will experience what feels just like body-numbing, extremely pleasurable oral sex. Pro Tip - make sure your vibrator is sealed tight. This is very important to ensure that you are stimulated the way the device was intended.